Brown Eyes
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: My story is one that has never been told. I have kept everything bottled up inside for the last six years of my life. Now, I must set these feelings free. My life is a rollercoaster, as you will soon learn. Welcome to my life.


**New story! What can I say? Ideas keep popping in my head. :)**

**This story will have a companion to go along with it. This one will be in someone's point of view, and the companion will be in someone else's point of view. There will be two people, living seperate lives. Suffering lives. This is _Brown Eyes_; the companion to _Green Eyes_, which I will most likely post later on tonight, if not tomorrow. These stories will have a sequel, in which both persons meet each other. I plan on calling the sequel: _Green and Brown Collide_.**

**Please let me know what you think of _Brown Eyes_, and once I post _Green Eyes_, please check it out. Thank you everyone. :) You are all amazing!**

* * *

A freak. An abomination. A monster. A waste of space. A lame excuse for a human being. A disgrace to this world. I've been called all of these names and more in my sixteen years of life. It's obvious that in front of everyone's eyes, I am nothing but a person who does not deserve to live. Sometimes, I don't even think they see me as a human being. They all see me as a monster; one they are dying to destroy. And sometimes, I think they're right. Sometimes I just want to die; disappear from the face of this planet and let the earth swallow me whole. It's what I deserve for what I did six years ago.

I'm a murderer. Everyone says I deserve to die because of the death I caused. My own family wishes I was dead. My father only puts up with me because I am the only thing he has that keeps the memory of my dear mother stuck in his head. I know he doesn't love me. To him I am nothing but a memory left in the past. I know I came as a surprise to both him and my mother. They weren't expecting to have a baby.

All I did was ruin their lives.

Because of me my mother is now dead; buried six feet underground.

Because of me my father is who he is. A man who wishes to die is all I see when I look into his eyes. He wishes he were with my mom. He doesn't want to live anymore, and honestly, neither do I.

I wish I was dead. How I wish I could take my mother's place. At least she was happy when she was alive. Here, I find myself alive, but am I enjoying it? The answer is no. Life is nothing but a slap to the face to me. Nothing seems to go in the right direction. Nothing I ever do makes anything better. If anything, my actions only cause more harm to those I love.

I should be rotting in Hell by now. I should be buried six feet underground. I should be the one no longer breathing. My mother didn't deserve what came her way. She was a wonderful woman, full of life and love. Unlike my father; she accepted me into this world with open arms. She loved me as much as any mother would love their child.

There's a saying that says that love can overcome anything. That's a total lie. If that were true, my mother would have never died. If it were true, she would not have given her last breath already. She would still be here, hugging me close to her chest, whispering words of comfort in my ear, and stroking my hair, like she used to do when I was a little.

But now, her touches are nothing but memories; ones I cherish and hold close to my heart.

I don't know when I will be able to see my mother again, that is, if I ever get to see her again. I highly doubt it. She was such a sweet person. She didn't do anything wrong. It's clear to me she went to Heaven. But me? I am destined to go to Hell. I just know it.

A monster like me doesn't deserve to live a life of peace up in the heavens.

I deserve to suffer. I deserve to hurt. I deserve the venomous words thrown in my face. I deserve everything bad that comes into my life. I deserve every little jolt of pain.

I… I deserve to die.

Never will I find anyone who has experienced similar pain to the one I have to go through. No one will ever love me as a person. I will never be cared for. I don't deserve to be loved; therefore, I will never be loved.

My existence was a mistake. _I_ am a mistake.

The burden I hold on my shoulders is one I must carry for all the bad I have caused to this world. As much as I wish I were dead, I cannot die. I have to live with this horrible life, because I deserve it. Killing myself would be too easy. There would no longer be any more pain. I wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

But… I deserve to suffer. This pain, I must endure. I must keep holding on, no matter how much it breaks my heart.

I shall suffer. I shall hurt. I shall break… because this is what I deserve.

I wish I was dead. I wish there was no more pain. But that will never be an option. I will never find peace, until I have paid off for everything and everyone I have wronged.

I must suffer before I can find peace.

My story is one that has never been told. I have kept everything bottled up inside for the last six years of my life. Now, I must set these feelings free.

My life is a rollercoaster, as you will soon learn.

Welcome to my life.

* * *

**Thoughts? Who is this mysterious person? And how exactly did they cause their mother's death? Do you guys think they will ever find someone who understands them and takes them in? Or... will they suffer forever on their own?**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


End file.
